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Kepada Perempuan yang Sebentar Lagi Saya Nikahi, Akhirnya Saya Bisa Buktikan Perasaan Ini via Pexels

Kepada Perempuan yang Sebentar Lagi Saya Nikahi, Akhirnya Saya Bisa Buktikan Perasaan Ini

Kepada Perempuan yang Sebentar Lagi Saya Nikahi, Akhirnya Saya Bisa Buktikan Perasaan Ini via Pexels

besoksenin.co – Saya akan memulai ini dengan berterima-kasih karena kamu telah terlahir di dunia ini, membuat hidup yang sebelumnya berantakan memiliki tujuan, saya tidak akan pernah berada di sini, jika bukan karenamu. Terima kasih sudah menunggu, terima kasih sudah membuat saya menunggu. Terima kasih sudah menjaga diri sendiri, sebelum kedatangan saya.

Kamu tidak akan mengerti, lagipula tidak ada pengibaratan yang benar-benar sesuai; bahwa kamu memang seseorang yang saya mau.

Akhirnya, saya bisa membuktikan pada diri sendiri bahwa kamu memang nyata, tidak hanya hidup di kepala atau tulisan-tulisan saya saja. Akhirnya, saya bisa menyentuhmu langsung, bahkan seluruh titik di lekuk tubuhmu, setelah sebelumnya hanya bisa mengusap foto-fotomu di layar ponsel.

Sebelumnya, saya sempat mengirim belasan surat, beberapa puisi, kadang juga menyelipkan besarnya perasaan di ratusan pesan singkat yang kita tukar. Akhirnya, saya bisa membuktikan kepadamu bahwa segala perasaan ini bukan hanya sekadar kata-kata. Kamu akan merasakannya sendiri, saat saya memelukmu dari belakang ketika kamu sedang sibuk memasak di dapur, atau ketika saya yang bilang “Ini enak kok,” ketika masakan yang kamu buat rasanya hambar. Kamu sudah tidak bisa meragukan saya lagi, karena di tiap tatap mata atau gestur saya, menunjukan bahwa saya sudah memilihmu.

Saya sudah memilihmu kemarin, hari ini, dan hari-hari setelah itu.

Kamu pasti selalu masuk di daftar pertimbangan utama, untuk seluruh rencana masa depan yang saya susun. Saya tidak lagi harus mewujudkan impian-impian pribadi, tetapi juga bertanggung-jawab atas impian-impian dan kebahagianmu.

Saya sudah tidak sabar untuk mengimamimu di tiap waktu sholat, lalu memimpinmu berdo’a. Dengan mengirimkanmu ke kehidupan saya, sesungguhnya Tuhan sudah mengabulkan banyak sekali keinginan saya, membuat saya merasa sebagai hamba yang diberkati dan sangat beruntung. Tetapi, saya tetap harus berdo’a, sebagai bentuk rasa syukur karena sudah menghadiahi saya dengan anugerah besar seperti dirimu, dan agar Ia tetap membuatmu berada di sini.  Kalau bukan karena berkat-Nya, tidak akan ada percakapan-percakapan canggung kita di awal-awal bertemu, bahkan kita mungkin tidak akan pernah bertemu.

Saya sudah tidak sabar berbagi ranjang denganmu, tempat yang akan saya bagi denganmu untuk waktu yang lama. Di minggu-minggu awal, saya tidak akan tidur lebih dulu ketika kita kelelahan sehabis bercinta, melainkan mendengarkan embus nafas dan degup di jantungmu. Bangun dan diam-diam mengagumi wajahmu, menelusuri setiap garis di sana, dan mengatakan pada diri sendiri betapa beruntungnya saya. Saya sudah sering memimpikan kamu sebelum sekarang, tetapi berada di satu tempat tidur denganmu melebihi mimpi paling indah saya. Di minggu-minggu berikutnya, sebelum kita tidur saya akan mengoceh banyak sekali hal, tentang impian hingga kejadian di tempat kerja siang tadi, saya harap kamu juga melakukan itu, dan saya berjanji akan selalu mendengarkan, tak peduli saya dalam keadaan kantuk berat. Saya akan selalu mendengarmu.

Kamu tidak perlu menakutkan apa pun, sebab saya akan bekerja keras. Kamu tidak tahu, dengan memandangi fotomu saja, saya selalu bisa menemukan semangat di seluruh pekerjaan yang tak pernah habis, apalagi ketika saya bisa memandingmu secara langsung, bukan? Saya akan selalu melindungimu.

Tentu saja, kamu segera melihat kekurangan-kekurangan saya. Saya yang bisa tidak melakukan apa pun seharian penuh, berbaring di lantai dingin, terus menerus meminum minuman kaleng, lalu membuat puisi yang jelek.

Kamu akan bertemu dengan sikap temperamental yang saya miliki, saya yang selalu bersikap manis di hadapanmu, menjadi monster buas.  Tetapi, saya yakin, segala jenis pertengkaran kita nanti, pasti mereda dengan sendirinya. Sebab, kita saling membutuhkan satu sama lainnya, adalah fakta yang tak bisa dihindari kenyataan.

Pasti ada satu titik, ketika kamu menyadari bahwa nyatanya saya bukan seorang laki-laki yang diharapkan kebanyakan perempuan, yang sukses dengan kekayaan melimpah. Kamu berhak mendapatkan laki-laki seperti, kamu berhak mendapatkan seseorang yang lebih baik. Satu-satunya hal yang harus bisa dipastikan; adalah saya mampu memberikanmu kasih sayang dan kehangatan lebih dari laki-laki mana pun di bumi ini, jadi itu-lah yang akan saya lakukan.

Walaupun bisa menunjukan langsung, saya berjanji untuk tetap menulis puisi untukmu. Bukan karena saya berlebihan, tetapi itu bisa digunakan ketika saya menjadi monster dan mulai membentakmu, cukup serahkan, dan saya akan ingat kembali pernah menghadiahimu kata-kata puitis, tetapi mengapa saya harus membentakmu?

Tolong jangan terlalu cepat menyerah ketika menghadapi sifat buruk saya, karena saya juga pantang menyerah untukmu.

Mari sama-sama berjanji, apa pun masalah yang akan kita hadapi, kamu dan aku hanya perlu saling menatap satu sama lain, dan semuanya pasti bisa terlewati. Entah dengan cara apa, tetapi denganmu, saya yakin bisa menggapai, memenangkan, dan mewujudkan semua impian menjadi kenyataan di rumah kita. Apa kamu juga percaya? (Tommi Pringadi)

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