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Kepergianmu Dari sisiku, Bukan Hatiku

besokseninn.co – Waktu persis mendetakannya selama dua tahun ini

Hari ini tepat kepergianmu

Kepergianmu dari sisiku, bukan dari hatiku

Pergi? Aku menertawakan diriku sendiri

Bagaimana mungkin aku sebut kau pergi?

Bahkan bersama pun tak pernah

Beriringan adalah hal yang mustahil

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Tentang cinta dalam diam

Tentang kesunyian yang menimbulkan gurat lara

Tentang khayal yang menggores luka

Aku lebih memilih jalan itu selama ini

Baca juga: Aku Belajar Dari Kartini, Bahwa Kita Harus Berhenti Saling Menyakiti Bukan Berhenti Saling Mencintai

Aku…

Aku takut bergerak, mengusik kedamaian hidupmu

Ku besarkan hati agar rasa ini tak menyembul keluar

Untuk memandangmu saja aku perlu mempertimbangkannya

Apakah kau akan terganggu ?

 

Namun, acapkali melihatmu

Bola mataku berputar-putar tak berdamai dengan hati

Hei, kau ingin menatapnya kan?

Bagaimana kau tak mau memandang kearahnya!

Bukankah kotakmu sudah kau buat untuk menepis gerakmu itu?

 

Aku takut akan jatuh dan jatuh lagi untuk yng kesekian kali padanya

Aku takut rasaku terdeteksi oleh radarnya

Aku takut mataku tak bisa berdusta barang beberapa detik

 

Tentang cinta dalam diam

Aku telah memilihnya

Membuat lubang luka sendiri

Menahan gemuruh yang meletup-letup di dada

 

Ketika gumapalan rindu menggunung.

Mau aku apakan semua ini ?

aku takut bergerak.

Takut membangunkanmu dan menoleh lantas berkata

Siapakah kamu ?

 

Tentang cara memandang yang jauh, jauh dari dalam

Aku masih memandangmu!

Merekahkan senyumku saat melihat gambaran dirimu

(Kuntummutia)

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About Kuntum Mutia Umami

Full of dream!- Candu merasa

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