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Untukmu yang Pernah Mematahkan Hatiku dengan Hebat, Semoga Pilihanmu itu Tepat

benyarieawan.blogspot.co.id
kita bertemu untuk berpisah, via benyarieawan.blogspot.co.id

Saat itu aku sedang menunggumu sendirian. Duduk diantara banyaknya orang yang berlalu lalang. Tahukah kamu, bagaimana bahagianya aku saat itu? Akhirnya aku akan bertemu kamu yang selalu membuatku rindu. Ya, aku akan bertemu kamu. Kamu yang selalu membuatku terkesan dan yang memberiku rasa nyaman.

 

Hingga akhirnya kamu pun datang. Tak pernah aku tahu apa yang ada dalam pikiranmu. Tiba-tiba saja kamu katakan sebuah kalimat yang cukup menyakitkan bagiku. Kamu bilang, sampai kapan kita akan bertahan, dan memperjuangkan sesuatu yang tak akan pernah ada ujungnya. Kamu bilang, jarak adalah hal yang paling signifikan dalam menjalin sebuah hubungan, dan kita tak mempunyai itu. Entah apa maksudnya? Kenapa tiba-tiba? Tak bisakah kita bicarakan baik-baik saja? Banyak sekali pertanyaan yang ingin aku sampaikan, namun rasanya sia-sia saja. Bagiku, kalau kamu sudah tak cinta, aku bisa apa?

 

Sakit!!! Sekali lagi hatiku sakit! Ingin rasanya aku berteriak, agar seluruh dunia tahu bagaimana sakitnya aku. Sudah lupakah kamu dengan kenangan manis yang kita rangkai dulu? Sudah lupakah kamu dengan janjimu yang selalu ingin membahagiakanku? Apa ini yang kamu maksud dengan bahagia? Mengapa lidahmu begitu mudah mengatakan cinta, dan dalam waktu sekejap lidahmu juga yang dengan mudah memberiku luka? Tak pernahkah kamu berpikir bagaimana rasanya menjadi aku? Bagaimana jika kamu yang berada di posisiku? Hmmm memang apa aku bagi kamu?

bangka.tribunnews.com
padahal aku masih menunggumu, via bangka.tribunnews.com

Tak dapat dipungkiri, meski aku menguras seluruh energiku untuk melupakanmu, untuk tak lagi mengingat-ingat namamu dan kenangan yang mengikutimu. Sejujurnya perasaan itu masih saja hilang timbul. Setidaknya selama aku belum menemukan pengganti. Kadang sulit dimengerti, berkali-kali aku mencoba untuk berpaling, mencoba untuk melupakanmu. Tapi berkali-kali pula aku gagal melakukan itu. Ya sudahlah, biarkan itu menjadi urusanku. Kamu tak perlu tahu.

 

Untuk saat ini aku hanya ingin mengucapkan terimakasih, karena kamu sudah membuka mataku untuk berhenti. Berhenti bermimpi untuk menjadi satu-satunya wanita yang ada di hidupmu. Berhenti berharap untuk menjadi satu-satunya wanita yang menjadi prioritasmu. Dan berhenti mencintaimu yang tak lagi mencintaiku. Tapi satu, tidak untuk berhenti bahagia. Karena aku dan kamu sama, jika kamu bahagia dengan dunia barumu, akupun ingin begitu, bahagia dengan dunia baruku.

 

Untukmu, aku tahu kamu pria yang baik. Hanya saja kemarin kamu sedikit nakal dan (mungkin) tak sengaja melukaiku. Biarlah, luka hanya butuh obat untuk sembuh, hati yang patah hanya butuh perekat untuk kembali utuh. Aku memang sudah tak punya hak lagi untuk memperjuangkanmu. Karena sekarang sudah ada orang lain yang menggantikan posisiku. Semoga dia yang menjadi pilihanmu, bisa menjadi yang terbaik dalam mencintaimu dan membahagiakanmu, lebih dari aku.

 

Dulu, aku dan kamu pernah bahagia
Memiliki mimpi yang sama, berdua selamanya
Tapi semuanya berubah
Saat kita akhirnya memutuskan untuk berpisah

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